Researchers (Holmes and Rahe, 1967) have studied grief cycle processes and assigned stress levels to items. Loss of a partner and loss of offspring are the highest levels of stress. Others that we may not frequently think about are losses that happen with moving, changing schools, financial issues, and health problems.
We should not generalize about the grief cycle or expect everyone to process the stages of grief and loss in the same way. For instance, loss of a spouse is rated the highest for causing stress, but consider it from different viewpoints. The spouse who dies suddenly may result in more of a loss than the partner who has been battling illness for some considerable time
There's no road map for grief, and each loss must be inspected except for any others. Couples may experience the same loss, but they may grieve in very different ways differently. When one partner does not understand the grieving process of the other, marital issues can surface. Different grief and loss counseling techniques are sometimes used as tools by counselors to be useful to the varying personalities of couples going through the grief cycle together.
Grief and loss counseling techniques for partners and for families can often find a unifying strength in rituals. Rituals are such a vital part of our lives. We often take them for granted and do not even understand that we have rituals, or recognise how they impact our lives. This is also true of rituals surrounding death. Each culture approaches death differently, and every family inside those cultures might have its own specific way of experiencing death. We will be able to make statements and generalize to cultures and groups and how they handle death and how they ritualistically process stages of grief and loss, but we know many divert from the expectancies.
An example of a ritualistic approach to addressing stages of grief and loss is the NAMES Project. The NAMES Project started as a a way to champion the life of every man, woman, and child who had died from AIDS. It served as a grief cycle ritual to foster healing, where people added squares to a patchwork quilted blanket, each square representing a loved one who had died.
Sources Used and Suggested Reading
Holmes and Rahe (August,1967). Social readjustment rating scale. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11 (2).
Walsh, F. And McGoldrick, M. (2004). Living beyond loss: Death in the family.W.W. Norton & Company: N.Y.
We should not generalize about the grief cycle or expect everyone to process the stages of grief and loss in the same way. For instance, loss of a spouse is rated the highest for causing stress, but consider it from different viewpoints. The spouse who dies suddenly may result in more of a loss than the partner who has been battling illness for some considerable time
There's no road map for grief, and each loss must be inspected except for any others. Couples may experience the same loss, but they may grieve in very different ways differently. When one partner does not understand the grieving process of the other, marital issues can surface. Different grief and loss counseling techniques are sometimes used as tools by counselors to be useful to the varying personalities of couples going through the grief cycle together.
Grief and loss counseling techniques for partners and for families can often find a unifying strength in rituals. Rituals are such a vital part of our lives. We often take them for granted and do not even understand that we have rituals, or recognise how they impact our lives. This is also true of rituals surrounding death. Each culture approaches death differently, and every family inside those cultures might have its own specific way of experiencing death. We will be able to make statements and generalize to cultures and groups and how they handle death and how they ritualistically process stages of grief and loss, but we know many divert from the expectancies.
An example of a ritualistic approach to addressing stages of grief and loss is the NAMES Project. The NAMES Project started as a a way to champion the life of every man, woman, and child who had died from AIDS. It served as a grief cycle ritual to foster healing, where people added squares to a patchwork quilted blanket, each square representing a loved one who had died.
Sources Used and Suggested Reading
Holmes and Rahe (August,1967). Social readjustment rating scale. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11 (2).
Walsh, F. And McGoldrick, M. (2004). Living beyond loss: Death in the family.W.W. Norton & Company: N.Y.
About the Author:
Dr. Judy DeTrude is licensed in Texas as a Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is an Authorized Supervisor for both of the licenses. Offering counselig care services at Achieve Balance in The Woodlands, Texas, here she addresses why stages of grief and loss can vary widely from person to person, yet the use of ritual can be an effective tool in grief and loss counseling techniques.
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