Too many of us have a wonderful goal of things they want to accomplish, but they aren't taking action to achieve it. If this is true of you, why? Why does this superb image not move you, not prompt you to do something to achieve it?
One possible cause is that it isn't your goal.
I knew someone who knew how to play the piano. He had worked at it for twelve years and he could play any kind of music: classical, jazz, popular. He knew how to play it all.
At least that's what I was told, because I never really heard him play. So one day I asked him why I'd never heard him play and he said, "When I completed my last year of piano classes, I swore I'd never play a piano again."
"Why?" I asked in some shock.
"Because I never wanted to play the piano. It was my mother's goal."
So is your goal someone else's goal for you? Is it the goal of a parent? A teacher? A best friend? Society? Is it a goal that excites you or one that excites someone else?
There's a way to find out.
Assume you're standing in front of all the people who know about your goal and you discard it. Suppose you say, "I am no longer pursuing this goal. It's not for me." How would these people respond? Some will be shocked, some will be unexcited, some may even applaud. But is there one person that would be upset, or annoyed, or let down? If that is the case, then that's the person whose goal it is.
So if the goal is someone else's, do you now give it up? Is it time to grow your own goals and move on?
Perhaps, but there is a catch.
The catch is that even though the goal started with someone else, in time you may have come to take on parts of it as your own. My piano-avoiding friend might have discovered, somewhere along the way, that he enjoyed playing some types of music but didn't want to disclose it to his mother. If, over time , you've come to see at least part of the goal as your own, you now need to claim it as yours rather than renounce it.
How could you figure out whether or not you have accepted it as yours?
Pretend that that you are with the person whose goal it is and, even before you disavow the goal, pretend that that person says to you, "I think you should move on from that goal. It isn't for you."
How would you reply? Possibly you'd be thankful. Maybe it wouldn't matter to you. In these cases, the goal has not become yours and you can move on.
But if your reaction is annoyance or upset, or if your response is something like, "Don't tell me what to do with my life," then you've come to see the goal as yours. Now is the time to embrace it, to separate from the person that gave it to you. Now is the time to announce, "My goal is ... ".
One possible cause is that it isn't your goal.
I knew someone who knew how to play the piano. He had worked at it for twelve years and he could play any kind of music: classical, jazz, popular. He knew how to play it all.
At least that's what I was told, because I never really heard him play. So one day I asked him why I'd never heard him play and he said, "When I completed my last year of piano classes, I swore I'd never play a piano again."
"Why?" I asked in some shock.
"Because I never wanted to play the piano. It was my mother's goal."
So is your goal someone else's goal for you? Is it the goal of a parent? A teacher? A best friend? Society? Is it a goal that excites you or one that excites someone else?
There's a way to find out.
Assume you're standing in front of all the people who know about your goal and you discard it. Suppose you say, "I am no longer pursuing this goal. It's not for me." How would these people respond? Some will be shocked, some will be unexcited, some may even applaud. But is there one person that would be upset, or annoyed, or let down? If that is the case, then that's the person whose goal it is.
So if the goal is someone else's, do you now give it up? Is it time to grow your own goals and move on?
Perhaps, but there is a catch.
The catch is that even though the goal started with someone else, in time you may have come to take on parts of it as your own. My piano-avoiding friend might have discovered, somewhere along the way, that he enjoyed playing some types of music but didn't want to disclose it to his mother. If, over time , you've come to see at least part of the goal as your own, you now need to claim it as yours rather than renounce it.
How could you figure out whether or not you have accepted it as yours?
Pretend that that you are with the person whose goal it is and, even before you disavow the goal, pretend that that person says to you, "I think you should move on from that goal. It isn't for you."
How would you reply? Possibly you'd be thankful. Maybe it wouldn't matter to you. In these cases, the goal has not become yours and you can move on.
But if your reaction is annoyance or upset, or if your response is something like, "Don't tell me what to do with my life," then you've come to see the goal as yours. Now is the time to embrace it, to separate from the person that gave it to you. Now is the time to announce, "My goal is ... ".
About the Author:
Jolyon Hallows is the creator of The Systematic Goal, a system for setting, planning, and achieving goals. He's a seasoned project manager, writer of two books on project management, instructor in a university diploma program, and has personally trained over a thousand project managers world-wide.
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