Ok does empathy have a place in hypnotherapy?
The quick answer is no it has no place . Lets start with a definition of empathy. "Empathy- the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." Dictionary.com
I'd like to clarify the definition above a little it says, "the intellectual identification with another person" Well even doing this is going to set off a person to dig through their own experiences, then imagine what it'd be like to be another person having those experiences. You cannot do this with out making the sensations and feelings that person may be feeling so I disagree with this particular part of the definition.
So to be empathic we need to feel what the other person feels to genuinely understand them, to empathize with them. Well this is perilous as a hypnotherapist my clients usually come with a lot of complaint, one thing that's important in all this is they're customarily in really painful emotional states. After all , that is what has prompted them to come and see me for hypnotherapy in the first place.
Some of the emotional states that will make up the state of clients is anxiety, depression, anger, fear, loneliness etc It is generally a mixture of these feelings they're generally at extraordinarily intense levels. So lets go along the way of empathising! If we do that we must feel what they feel and after we do that how well do you really think we'll be able to help them? For example a few of the people I have seen are on the border of a panic attack! Do you really think that could be a good state to be in to help some one?
In the past I have had clients who have impacted my state where it has begun to become a problem with me, to the point that I won't do my job properly because when you feel badly enough you tend to go inside to cope with it. The emotion essentially distracts you and puts you in a state where your judgement is skewed.
For instance you can pay attention to 7 +- 2 pieces of info per second consciously, you may be aware of 11 million pieces of info per second subconsciously. So what happens is you use all of your capacity for helping the client with coping with your anxiety fear for example. Its like you are on a freeway in peak hour traffic, it is choked fender to fender so you can't do anything just traveling hardly at 5 kmph. The other side is you're calm and relaxed its like their is very few cars of the free way and you can zoom around at 100 kmph. So you've got a heap of mental resources to use to concentrate on the customer, what they assert, what they do body language etc. So that you can work out the most effective way to aid them.
Also when you're in a state of fear you have a tendency to process things differently, you also pay attention to different things, while you are in a state of being calm and relaxed you may process things absolutely differently again also concentrating on different things and coming to different conclusions and judgements. So when you are relaxed and chilled you are much more likely to see what's essentially their in front of you and not skewed by fear.
So when referring to empathy with a client it is a no no!! You need to keep your self in a state where you can do your job, to the best of your ability while protecting your self from feeling shit and moving into these negative states. I have met other health practitioners who do this and then complain they feel depressed and anxious etc all the time, they can not understand why! It is straightforward they empathise with several clients each day they work going into the negative states of the clients and over time this builds up because they're in these negative states so frequently while working while at home and so on.
Now to digress a bit I'm certain you have spoken to some one, friend, family member and they dump all of their shit on you! Then you are feeling like shit they have also done this many times to the point where you are beginning to avoid this person. We all know some one like this that causes us to avoid or spend as little time in their company as practical. Why because they lead you to feel bad, so I'd also recommend that you hardly ever do this to folks you know like friends, family etc because you will make them feel bad, I might also tend to change the subject if others try to do this with you protect yourself by every means. Yes I'm aware this is a standard way folk connect and start to know one another gaining trust,. But it comes at a price and their are alternative ways to connect with people than doing this so limit this behaviour as much as humanly possible.
The quick answer is no it has no place . Lets start with a definition of empathy. "Empathy- the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." Dictionary.com
I'd like to clarify the definition above a little it says, "the intellectual identification with another person" Well even doing this is going to set off a person to dig through their own experiences, then imagine what it'd be like to be another person having those experiences. You cannot do this with out making the sensations and feelings that person may be feeling so I disagree with this particular part of the definition.
So to be empathic we need to feel what the other person feels to genuinely understand them, to empathize with them. Well this is perilous as a hypnotherapist my clients usually come with a lot of complaint, one thing that's important in all this is they're customarily in really painful emotional states. After all , that is what has prompted them to come and see me for hypnotherapy in the first place.
Some of the emotional states that will make up the state of clients is anxiety, depression, anger, fear, loneliness etc It is generally a mixture of these feelings they're generally at extraordinarily intense levels. So lets go along the way of empathising! If we do that we must feel what they feel and after we do that how well do you really think we'll be able to help them? For example a few of the people I have seen are on the border of a panic attack! Do you really think that could be a good state to be in to help some one?
In the past I have had clients who have impacted my state where it has begun to become a problem with me, to the point that I won't do my job properly because when you feel badly enough you tend to go inside to cope with it. The emotion essentially distracts you and puts you in a state where your judgement is skewed.
For instance you can pay attention to 7 +- 2 pieces of info per second consciously, you may be aware of 11 million pieces of info per second subconsciously. So what happens is you use all of your capacity for helping the client with coping with your anxiety fear for example. Its like you are on a freeway in peak hour traffic, it is choked fender to fender so you can't do anything just traveling hardly at 5 kmph. The other side is you're calm and relaxed its like their is very few cars of the free way and you can zoom around at 100 kmph. So you've got a heap of mental resources to use to concentrate on the customer, what they assert, what they do body language etc. So that you can work out the most effective way to aid them.
Also when you're in a state of fear you have a tendency to process things differently, you also pay attention to different things, while you are in a state of being calm and relaxed you may process things absolutely differently again also concentrating on different things and coming to different conclusions and judgements. So when you are relaxed and chilled you are much more likely to see what's essentially their in front of you and not skewed by fear.
So when referring to empathy with a client it is a no no!! You need to keep your self in a state where you can do your job, to the best of your ability while protecting your self from feeling shit and moving into these negative states. I have met other health practitioners who do this and then complain they feel depressed and anxious etc all the time, they can not understand why! It is straightforward they empathise with several clients each day they work going into the negative states of the clients and over time this builds up because they're in these negative states so frequently while working while at home and so on.
Now to digress a bit I'm certain you have spoken to some one, friend, family member and they dump all of their shit on you! Then you are feeling like shit they have also done this many times to the point where you are beginning to avoid this person. We all know some one like this that causes us to avoid or spend as little time in their company as practical. Why because they lead you to feel bad, so I'd also recommend that you hardly ever do this to folks you know like friends, family etc because you will make them feel bad, I might also tend to change the subject if others try to do this with you protect yourself by every means. Yes I'm aware this is a standard way folk connect and start to know one another gaining trust,. But it comes at a price and their are alternative ways to connect with people than doing this so limit this behaviour as much as humanly possible.
About the Author:
Rodney Inns has been studying and working in the field of Hypnotherapy Melbourne for over 5 years. On his business site he's got more info for People interested in booking in for a session for help with weight loss hypnotherapy, give up smoking, Phobia?s to name 1 or 2. He has also got a blog where he has more info on Hypnotherapy, NLP and rapid change work.
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